Mia Love ‘Unsure’ Who She’ll Ask to Congressional Sadie Hawkins Dance

A smitten Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., makes a move on heartbreaker-elect Mia Love, R-Utah.

A smitten Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., makes a move on heartbreaker-elect Mia Love, R-Utah.

WASHINGTON D.C. — A newly-elected United States Representative and odds-on favorite for “Best Smile” honors for the congressional class of 2015, Mia Love is expected to take the pick of the bunch to Congress’s annual Sadie Hawkins dance, taking place on November 22.

However, the effervescent Love says she is yet to decide which luring lawmaker should accompany her to the big event.

“I am unsure at this particular moment,” she commented coyly as she winked at a blushing Rep. Doc Hastings, R-Wash.

“But,” she continued, “if any of you boys wants to buy me a fountain soda at the malt shop, I might take that under consideration.”

Her statement was followed by a chorus of whistles and “hubba-hubbas.”

Love has attracted plenty of attention since arriving in Washington last week to decorate her congressional locker. Republican Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, the hunky star quarterback of the GOP caucus football team, was clearly taken by Love as the two crossed paths in the hallway. Ryan was overheard remarking, “Gee whiz, that doxy’s got moxie.”

Love’s appeal isn’t limited to Republicans, either. Senate Democrat and class dweeb Jeff Merkley of Oregon sits behind Love in homeroom and has clumsily offered to carry Love’s books for her on several occasions.

“I think she’s really warming up to me,” Merkley later reflected. “They say nice guys finish last, but Mia’s not like all the other girls. She sure is a swell gal.”

When asked for her thoughts on Merkley, Love said he “seems nice,” but she wouldn’t elaborate further.

Not everyone is pleased with the new girl on the Hill. Rep. Jackie Walorski, R-Ind., said on Thursday that Love “just rubs me the wrong way.”

“She’s got this attitude, like, ‘Oh my God, look at me, I’m so special,'” Walorski said, imitating Love with a squeaky voice.

Still, Walorski claimed she was eager to “show [Love] around” and help her get in with the more popular Congress members.

While Love’s Sadie Hawkins sweetheart remains a mystery, other lawmakers have already paired off. Rep. Lois Capps, D-Calif., won over Republican Rep. Mark Amodei of Nevada with a clever hand-drawn cartoon showing California affectionately spooning Nevada. And Sen. Mike Lee, R-Utah, successfully courted a giddy Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, whose parents’ Geo Metro was playfully decorated with hearts and rainbows along with the message, “Will U B mine? Love, U Know Who.”


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