Utah Man Worried His Extremely Specific Fetish a Public Health Crisis

BOUNTIFUL — A Utah man is concerned that his habit of watching videos of women having sneezing fits while attempting to read aloud is an endangerment to his mental and physical wellbeing.

The concern arose for Chad Weber, a computer programmer living in Bountiful, after his state’s governor approved a resolution declaring pornography “a public health hazard.” Weber says he doesn’t watch traditional pornography videos with nudity and sex acts, but he derives a similar pleasure from “sneezecore” videos.

“No one in my family knows of my addiction,” he says. “Sometimes I tell my wife I’m going to the store to buy some eggs or whatever, but I’m really just going to the Chevron bathroom to watch some sneezecore on my phone.”

While the recent resolution on pornography doesn’t allocate any funding to curtailing the production, distribution, or consumption of pornography, the bill’s author, Sen. Todd Weiler (R-Woods Cross) says its intended affect is to raise public awareness of pornography’s dangers.

As far as Weber is concerned, Weiler’s efforts have been successful.

“I’ve come to realize that I have a problem,” Weber says. “It’s a serious burden on my marriage. My wife will never live up to the unrealistic expectations I have after watching sneezecore, and that’s my fault, not hers.”

Weber subsequently has vowed to stop hiding his highly-allergenic wife’s Clariton. He has also ceased sprinkling her pillowcase with coriander.

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