Since its inception in 1997, the World Congress of Families has been steadfast in asserting that the Hamilton family, a middle-class, caucasian family based in Duluth, Minnesota, is a degenerate union whose assembly is a direct offense to the legitimacy of all other families.
NBA Hall of Fame legend and former Utah Jazz player Karl Malone is reportedly enduring a sustained period of ennui and interpersonal disconnect, which has manifested in desperate, semi-anonymous posts on a local online dating forum.
In a brief question-and-answer session with the White House press corps on Wednesday, President Barack Obama revealed he was completely unaware that he had traveled to Utah last week.
In a ceremonial gathering on Monday, Utah state senators and representatives announced the official opening of the legislature, circling March 9 on their calendars.
The conceptual artist and Utah resident known as “Super Dell” is assuring his followers that 2015 will be a year filled with “perception-altering stunts of ethically disquieting implications.”
Speaking at a press conference over the weekend, Utah Republicans offered sincere apologies for their major accomplishments from 2014.
A Republican state representative wants to outlaw a new powdered alcohol product in Utah amid concerns that it could be the most dangerously awesome thing ever.